


Remember Tonight  (For It Is The Beginning Of Always)

by id8a



Series: My Signal Fire [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: (little)angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/id8a/pseuds/id8a
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian knew Blaine wanted to propose, he’d found the ring. But that was months ago and --- nothing. He is worried. (I suck at writing summaries. The actual story is better. I promise?)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember Tonight  (For It Is The Beginning Of Always)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Prompt #4 Proposal at Seblaine Sunday Challenge on Tumblr  
> This is my first time posting something I’ve written so please be gentle with me.  
> I feel like I should also mention that English is not my native language so I apologize for all and any grammar mistakes.  
> Oh, and the title was borrowed from Dante Alighieri.

                  

     

  Sebastian walks inside his apartment building on this late December evening and shudders a little due to sudden and welcome change in temperature. His eyes water a little too so he blinks a few times and lets the warmth of the lobby relax his body.

  The weather outside is brutal, cold and windy and the temperature is sure to drop below freezing in a few hours. It might snow as well. The air has that clear, sharp, fresh quality that usually indicates an impending snowfall.

 

  

  His boyfriend always swore you can smell snow coming and although Sebastian had found Blaine’s certainty on the matter funny and adorable, after few winters spent together and many correct predictions he realized and was forced to admit that he may be onto something after all.

  He’ll always remember Blaine’s face lighting up the first time it was him that dragged them out in the middle of the night so that they could welcome the first snow of the season.

  Sebastian had trouble sleeping that week in the late November few years ago. The work was hectic due to the upcoming exhibit so that meant restless nights and anxious mind. He got up and made his way to the kitchen and while he was waiting for the teakettle to whistle he opened a small window, deeply inhaling the cool air. It was crisp, it actually _smelled_ icy. He laughed at himself right then and there and knew instantly what he was going to do next.

  “I thought you insisted you can’t smell the snow,” Blaine teased him playfully, rubbing his sleep covered eyes while the smile grew on his face with every second. By the time they were both dressed in heavy woolen sweaters, caps and gloves Blaine was wide awake and already bouncing with excitement. “I always knew you’d come around,” he told him with affection. He was happy and a little proud, like he always was when he managed to show another world to Sebastian, another version of reality. And for Sebastian, that is just one of the reasons why he loves Blaine so much, the way he’s able to see the world through his eyes. The fun of wondering, that’s what Blaine brought into his life. Joy and magic.

 

  

  “Good evening, Mr. Smythe,” the doorman, Frank greets him.

  “Good evening, Frank,” Sebastian greets in return, making his way over to the desk. “Blaine would kill me if I didn’t get some for your wife and yourself,” he says, reaching inside the paper bag and taking out a small blue carton box and handing it to Frank.

 

  On his way home Sebastian stopped at this small French bakery, _La Vie En Rose_ , his and Blaine’s favorite that has the best macaroons and éclairs in town.

  Naturally, it was Blaine that found out soon after moving in that Frank’s wife, Celine, is a French native so he made sure that he and Sebastian always bring some treats for them as well.

  (And it was Sebastian, of course, who discovered the bakery in the first place. And it was also him that made sure that it is in fact the best one in town. The best one in the entire tri-state area actually.)                                      

 

 “Oh, thank you, but you didn’t have to,” Frank says, taken aback a little still, even though they’ve been bringing him those delicious baked goods for six years now.

  Sebastian laughs. “Yeah, try telling Blaine that and see where that gets you.”

  Frank laughs as well. “You’re right. But thank you anyway. I know Celine will be thrilled. They make her miss France a little less.”

  “You’re welcome. And I know how she feels,” he adds at the end with a grin.

 

  He stays talking to Frank for a minute or two longer, making sure he and Stanley - the other doorman - know Blaine and him will be leaving the day after tomorrow and won’t be back until the 12th of January, before making his way to the elevators, stopping only to check if there’s any mail to pick up.

  And of course there is. A box full of it. And it’s all junk - promotional leaflets, advertising catalogues - most of which will end up as a garbage.

  Sebastian scoffs, quickly going through it. Like it isn’t enough that his e-mail inbox is being flooded daily with junk mail. He would normally just dump it all in the paper recycling bin without giving it a second look if it wasn’t for Blaine’s niece.

 

  

 

  Ally, Copper’s precocious 9 year-old daughter, is a budding artist. Collages are her passion so Blaine and Sebastian make sure to save all the magazines and catalogues that she can cut out and make her pictures. She’s actually really talented, with a great sense of composition even at a young age. Blaine adores her and Sebastian is a big, no - huge fan himself. His boyfriend teases him about it sometimes, and then beams at him for how good he is with her. He guesses Blaine’s right but it’s so easy to like Ally.

  She’s bright and lovely, with intelligence that goes beyond her years and big, wonderful, wild imagination. And she likes Sebastian too, something that took getting used to. (Blaine only smiled at him, with that big loving smile. “Of course she likes you, why wouldn’t she?” Lots of reasons, Sebastian thought and was ready to lists them all but Blaine kissed him and he forgot all of them.)

  Last year at Thanksgiving Ally spent almost all of her time by Sebastian's side, even inviting him to make collages with her. That caused Cooper and Blaine to pout, and for Emma - Ally’s mom, Cooper’s girlfriend - and Blaine’s parents - Elena and Jonathan - to burst out laughing since Ally doesn’t allow anyone near her art. “What?”, the young girl said, standing, arms on her hips. She huffed with annoyance and announced “Seb is the only one that doesn’t treat me like a baby. He never did.” That caused another eruption of laughter from all of them. Ally rolled her eyes and took Sebastian by the hand pulling him towards her room. He turned his head quickly, smirking and catching an amused look on his boyfriend’s face.

  Sebastian laughed a little too, but for a different reason.

  He is treating her the way he is because when he first met her - when she was 4 - he honestly had no idea how to talk to a child. He was beyond nervous, he kept squirming and fidgeting during the entire flight from New York to L.A. Blaine found it amusing and then endearing until at last he realized how anxious he really was.

  Sebastian didn’t have high expectations. The best he’d hoped for was indifference. “Just be yourself,” Blaine had told him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. To Sebastian, in that moment, that seemed like the worst possible advice. He didn’t know much about children but he was sure they had, at least the smart ones, great bullshit-douchebag-assholes detector so yes, he knew he should be nervous.

  At the end, he took Blaine’s advice - it never did fail him before after all - and all turned out wonderfully, Ally immediately took to him and the rest is, as they say, a history.

 

  

  Now, Sebastian is more than happy to be home; almost home, just an elevator ride away.

 

  He didn’t plan on going out today. The gallery has been closed since Friday - due to the upcoming holidays - but there was a complication with a particular acquisition from the last exhibit and after trying - and failing - to deal with it over the phone he knew he had to go there and handle it in person.

  He was reluctant to go since Blaine has been fighting a cold for the last three days and besides, he really didn’t want to venture out into all that cold and wind just so that he can deal with idiots. He was rather enjoying himself, cuddled on the couch with Blaine, drinking tea and watching Christmas movies. (Even if his boyfriend was going a little stir crazy.) But Blaine assured him it was alright and he was better anyway, he was fever-free and his nose has finally stopped running.

  In the end, it took all of the afternoon to sort out the issue. (He also had a pleasure of dealing with a person that hits the trifecta of idiocy: incompetence, greediness and plain stupidity.)

 

  Sebastian sighs with relief when he steps inside the elevator. He hopes Annie was able to come and keep Blaine company.

  Even though the cold is pretty mild - very low fever, sore throat and runny nose - it’s been a challenge to convince Blaine that staying home for a few days is a good thing. After all, they didn’t want to risk him getting sicker and that would really put a damper on Christmas, not to mention their upcoming ski-vacation in the Swiss Alps.

  Logic and reason won out in the end and Blaine agreed to be a good patient and ride it out. He was put on a steady diet of homemade chicken soup, chamomile and mint tea, orange juice and aspirin. And it was working. He slept through the entire night last without tossing and turning, without waking up every half an hour because he got congested.

  He knows Blaine and he knows that he’s dying to go out into all the magic and craziness of Christmas. It is one of his favorite things to do. Walk the streets and the parks, checking out all the stores and booths, drinking hot chocolate and soaking up all the feeling and energy.

 

  Sebastian himself was never a fan of the noisy, stuffy crowds of hysteric shoppers and as for Christmas, he considered it to be just a day, maybe slightly different than most days, but still just a day.

  That changed of course when he got together with Blaine. It was impossible not to get sucked in, his excitement was absolutely intoxicating. And although he will never be as passionate about this holiday as his boyfriend - but then again, barely anyone could be - he learned to enjoy it, to really enjoy it, to feel it.

  Appreciating and loving the holiday however doesn’t mean that he doesn’t scoff at things and people he deems scoff-worthy: tone-def carol singers, people fighting over the last items on the shelves - women pulling at each other’s hair, men cursing like sailors… okay, that he actually finds entertaining. Even Blaine laughs at the madness and reminds him that it’s a good thing they both do their Christmas shopping far in advance.

  They usually buy stuff throughout the year, when they see something that they know their friends or family members would like and that definitely makes holiday season significantly less stressful and it allows them to “revel in the magic of the season” -  Blaine’s words. (Besides, finding a perfect gift is not an easy task. Blaine always has trouble finding a gift for Copper while Sebastian struggles with gifts for Blaine's parents. He has this need to find a gift that says very clearly - thank you. Thank you for Blaine’s existence, thank you for accepting me into your family, thank you.)

 

  

  The elevator dings open on the seventh floor and the moment Sebastian enters the apartment he feels it - _home_.

 

 

  It’s been their home for six years now.

  They found it at the beginning of their senior year of college.

  Blaine thought it was time for him to get his own place, especially since the apartment he was sharing with Annie was becoming more and more crowded considering Sebastian spent all the weekends and even a few nights during the week - on the days when he had late classes the next morning - in the city. Annie teased them how they were basically living together already.

  They talked about that, living together. They talked about that a year before in fact, agreeing that they will move in together the moment after they graduate.

  So they dived into the apartment hunting together; a little sooner.

  Search for the perfect apartment was an adventure for sure. They saw all kinds of places during the period of two weeks at the end of August and were starting to get a little frustrated. It was Blaine surprisingly, who turned out to be the more picky one. Sebastian would’ve been happy to live anywhere really as long as they’re together but he also wanted the best for them, for their future.

  “We deserve better,” Sebastian had mumbled to no one in particular, standing in the living room of another giant disappointment. He was sure Blaine was still checking out the kitchen and was surprised when he felt two hands wrap around his torso from behind. Blaine held tight for a few moments, Sebastian could feel him breathing deeply, before he turned around, facing him. “You’re right,” Blaine declared confidently, “We really do. We deserve the best,” he concluded with a smile, tilting his head up before stretching up and kissing the taller boy.

  Only ten days later - thanks to Lydia, the real estate agent they decided to hire - they had their place.

  It took them three days from first seeing the apartment to owning it. Three days filled with serious conversations and silly laughter. They were both filled with this giddy feeling but they wanted to make certain they were sure; buying the apartment is a big deal after all, a commitment not to be taken lightly.

  The money, fortunately, wasn’t an issue. Sebastian had more money than he would ever need, and Blaine was left a rather large sum when his grandfather died, eight months earlier.

  He was beyond surprised by it, even feeling slightly uncomfortable. He was determined to use the money wisely, already thinking about charities and foundations that he could donate to. But he also wanted to do something for himself as well, and buying the dream apartment - three bedrooms, lots of light, perfectly organized kitchen that opens into a dining room, wooden floors, big shower with three shower heads and a large bathtub, a balcony overlooking the building’s back garden - with Sebastian, whom he loved more than he thought was possible to love another person, seemed like an excellent idea; and time proved that it definitely was the right decision, a perfect choice.

 

Sebastian spots a pair of red boots by the door and knows that Annie is here.

 

  (Annie, a pediatrician, was Blaine’s roommate for two and a half years during college. They hit it off right away and remained great friends _._ )

 

  He makes his way to the kitchen so he can put away the pastries and isn’t really surprised when he sees cookies cooling on a rack. Everything smells sweet and Sebastian smiles. Blaine is definitely feeling better.

  His smile grows wider when he thinks how Blaine must smell right now and how much he likes that, the scent of pure vanilla on his skin.

  He takes one of the cookies before making his way to drop of those catalogues for Ally in their office. He hears laughing coming from the living room.

 

  On his way back he hears Annie squeal and he pauses for a few moments because Annie very rarely squeals. She gets excited easily, yes, but actual squealing is reserved for a very special occasions. Sebastian is curious to find out what happened but then he stops again, suddenly, just before rounding the corner.

  “I can’t believe it! You’re going to propose!” Annie sounds absolutely thrilled.

  “Yes,” Blaine confirms simply, and Sebastian can imagine him smiling shyly while his eyes are shining with delight. He can see it because of the sound of his voice, like the giddiness has laced itself around his vocal cords giving his voice a lighter, floaty quality.

 

  He doesn’t make another step, just leans against the wall. He’s not shocked or even surprised. The fact that Blaine wants to propose is not a news to him.

 

 

 

  He’s known since May, actually, when he found the box while hiding the ring he himself had bought.        

  He smiled when he saw the box tucked in between their heaviest winter sweaters in the closet in their office. They even thought about the same hiding place. (He ended up putting his ring in the pocket of one of his winter coats).

  His plan was to propose when Blaine comes back from his summer tour - his second one; three months, twenty cities - even though he wanted to do it right away. He was sure, he was more than sure. He’s been sure for a long time.

  But they were both busy - Blaine with his final preparations and rehearsals, Sebastian with organizing another big exhibit - and besides, getting engaged and then being separated for three months definitely didn’t sound appealing. He wanted them to be able to celebrate, to really celebrate and was certain that his boyfriend was having similar thoughts.

  He also decided to leave the honor to Blaine, since he obviously wanted to do it and he did buy the ring first so it only seemed fair.

Things however didn’t go according to plan, or how Sebastian imagined them going.

  Weeks went by and then months passed and nothing.

  He didn’t want to worry but he couldn’t help it. He started to look for signs, for any kind of signs that would indicate that something was wrong. That Blaine was having doubts, or pulling away or anything really. But he found nothing. Everything was great. Amazing.

  He kept thinking about all the reasons that Blaine would he hesitant. He considered that maybe he wasn’t sure Sebastian even wanted to get married. But they talked about it a few times over the years and he told him that he is most definitely open to the idea.

  (Sebastian doesn’t necessarily feel like a piece of paper would make what they have any more real, but he likes the idea of calling Blaine his husband, and even more he wants to be _Blaine’s_.)

  “You know how much I love you, right?” he asked Blaine on more than one occasion during the past few months. It was all he could ask since he couldn’t come out with a direct - Why didn’t you propose to me yet? - question. “Of course I do,” Blaine replied sincerely, looking at him with those big, stunning eyes filled with love that left no room for any doubt.

  Sebastian could’ve proposed himself of course, but Blaine being unsure is what’s been holding him back. Even though he couldn’t figure out what is wrong and even though nothing seems wrong something _has_ to be wrong, there is a reason why the ring Blaine bought is still hidden. (Still in a closet in their office, but now tucked between their big beach towel; again they had a same idea as to what the perfect hiding place is.)

  There is a reason and it’s scaring him that he doesn’t know what it is. It also makes him feel just a tiny bit lonely because there’s this thing they don’t talk about, the thing that stands between them and he hates it. Nothing ever managed to intrude on them.  

  Sebastian realized that he can’t go on like this. Just yesterday he decided that he’ll swallow all his fears and just ask Blaine himself. He’ll do it in Switzerland, that’s what he had decided, because he loves him so completely and he knows that Blaine feels the same about him. So whatever fears Blaine has, or doubts they’ll work on them together.

 

  

  Sebastian is still standing against the wall, momentarily lost in his thoughts when Annie’s voice nudges him into the present.

  “What are you waiting for?” she asks.

  He has to smile to himself; that’s what I’d like to know.

  There’s a silence, he can only hear music playing low in the living room.

  “I - I don’t know - I don’t know how to - how to - “ Blaine’s voice is now thick with something, with worry Sebastian realizes and it causes him to swallow hard. “I don’t know how to show him how much he means to me, how much I love him, how much - “

  Annie cuts him off. “Hey, hey,” she comforts at first, the voice caring with a hint of a smile. “He knows that already, I’m sure.” She laughs lightly as well.

  “I know,” Blaine agrees but his voice is still heavy. “I just - I need to - I need to make sure - I need him to -”

  “Hey, trust me, he knows what - “ Annie tries to calm him down, obviously confused by the growing urgency in Blaine’s words.

  Sebastian doesn’t miss it either, how he sounds almost panicky, and he doesn’t understand it, confusion inside him taking up all the space, making it hard to think clearly. And it’s growing and growing until it disappears.

  “You don't understand! I need him to know that this time it’s different!”

 

  So that’s what it is.

 

  Honestly, Sebastian is surprised and more than a little relieved.

 

  

  Kurt was never an issue between them.

  Sure, Blaine did struggle just a little during their first year together. There was baggage he carried, demons that reared their heads at times and were able to go away only with time.

  Sebastian knew that Blaine would always care about Kurt, that he’ll always want the best for him. But he never worried about losing Blaine to him. (He worried about losing Blaine in general - especially in those first six months when he honestly couldn’t believe his luck - but not to Kurt.)     

  Even before they got together Blaine had realized how bad he and Kurt were for each other, how toxic the relationship had become and how much of himself he lost because of it.

  (Sebastian got to witness Blaine coming alive again; it was incredibly wonderful to see him embrace the life with enthusiasm, build his confidence, realize his worth.)

 

  Blaine and Kurt tried to renew their friendship, getting in touch again at the end of Blaine’s junior year.

  Sebastian wasn’t thrilled. He never liked Kurt - and he never will - and that feeling was definitely mutual. However, he wasn’t going to say to Blaine that he can’t be friends with him, even though had Blaine asked him if it was okay; they were two separate people after all that just happen to fit together seamlessly.

  He knew Blaine and how he will always do his best to try to get along with people, especially with ones that once meant a lot to him. He was a nice guy, a kind, loyal person who didn’t like cutting people out of his life.

  There was a reason however why Sebastian didn’t worry about Kurt trying to get back together with Blaine and that reason was that Kurt and Adam actually had a good relationship. It was obvious they loved each other. (“Adam’s pretty cool,” he said to Blaine “I have no idea how he puts up with Hummel.” Blaine laughed and kissed him. “The same way I put up with you,” he teased. Sebastian wanted to argue how he and Hummel are nothing alike but Blaine kept kissing him, smiling against his lips.)

  

  Kurt was over Blaine and Blaine was over Kurt, that was more than obvious, but what was also as clear as day was that Kurt didn’t like that Blaine was with Sebastian. That was a big thing that he couldn’t accept. He even went as far as to try setting Blaine up with other guys.

  Sebastian immediately saw what was going on - even from his small apartment in Jersey - the first time Blaine went out with Kurt and Adam and they brought a friend along, Matt. (“So that you don’t feel like a third wheel,” Kurt explained sweetly.)

  Sebastian didn’t say anything at first, finding Blaine’s unawareness of what was happening amusing and endearing.

  One day though, during their Skype call, Blaine told him how he ran into Thomas - another boy that Blaine was supposed to fall for - and the boy completely ignored him, rushing out of the shop. Blaine was honestly confused, thinking that he offended him in some way when they went bowling. Sebastian couldn’t take it anymore, he bursted out laughing. Blaine frowned, the line on his forehead becoming deeper the more confused he got.

  “God, you’re so adorable when you’re oblivious.” Sebastian commented playfully.

  “What are you talking about?”

   “He was your date that day. You didn’t know it and he didn’t know you had a boyfriend. And I’m just guessing here, but he found out either that day or later and was embarrassed so that’s why he bolted today when he saw you.”

  “Why would he think that was a date?” Blaine asked, still confused but with a realization dawning on him.

  “Hummel’s been setting you up for months now,” Sebastian replied, a little more serious now.

  “He wouldn’t do that,” Blaine insisted not very convincingly. “I mean, why would he? He’s with Adam and he’s happy and so am I. He knows I’m with you and - “

  Sebastian shook his head a little, “Just because he knows doesn’t mean he accepts it.”

 

  A week after was the last time - not counting running into him a few times - Sebastian and Blaine saw Kurt.

  It was a week before winter break their senior year.

  Sebastian got to the city two days earlier than planned since one of his professors offered him a possibility of moving his final exam and Sebastian gladly took him up on that. (It was his very last college exam since he was graduating a semester earlier.)

  Just as he was getting out of the elevator he saw a blond-haired boy about his age exiting his and Blaine’s apartment rather hurriedly. When the boy saw him he looked absolutely mortified. “I’m so sorry – I - I didn’t know,” he stuttered an apology before fleeing down the stairs. Sebastian didn’t have a chance to say anything and a second later, just as he was about to walk in, Adam appeared, also apologizing before rushing down the stairs as well with a “Josh, wait up!”

  It was clear what had happened.

  He snickered while closing the door behind him. And then he rolled his eyes when he saw one of Kurt’s winter hats at the top of the coat rack .(It was one of those hats that he supposed Kurt considered fashionable but looked utterly hideous to him.)

  “Stop it! I don’t want to hear it!” Blaine yelled, angry. It took a lot for him to be pushed over the edge and Sebastian was sure he ever heard him sound so furious.

  He made his way down the hall towards the living room but stopped. He wanted to let Blaine handle it himself. (Even though it was beyond tempting to see the look on Hummel’s face.) And besides, he knew that just his presence in the room would undercut whatever his boyfriend had to say, Kurt wouldn’t take Blaine’s words as serious or as his own for that matter.

  “Don’t you understand how disrespectful this is?! To me?! To Bas?! I can’t believe - And those guys! God, Kurt! “

  “I’m sorry, I just - “ Kurt tried but was cut off.

  “You just what?!” Blaine demanded fiercely.

  “I - You deserve better. I still want you to be happy, I -” Kurt tried to hide the shock in his voice - he obviously didn’t expect this kind of reaction from Blaine; an eruption of anger - but it was showing anyway.

  Blaine cut him off again. He sounded a little calmer, “There is no one better than him and I am happy. God, I am so happy it’s ridiculous.” Smile broke across his face. Smile than Sebastian wasn’t able to see but knew it was there, he could hear it.

  “If you say he’s perfect I’m going to be sick,” Kurt tried to joke, encouraged by Blaine’s softer tone. It failed flat, causing Blaine’s voice to fill with frustration once again.

  “God, of course he’s not perfect,” Blaine said, “No one is.” And then he added, so certain, voice softer and wrapped in a warmth “But he’s perfect for me.”

  Sebastian all but melted outside the room listening to Blaine. He knew his boyfriend loved him but hearing him speak like this, standing up for both of them, for what they have together was magnificent and wonderful and completely breathtaking.

  He couldn’t stay away any longer so he made a few steps and leaned against the doorframe. It took a moment for Blaine to spot him.

  “I don’t know if you don’t see it or if you just don’t want to see it,” Blaine continued, frustration turning into annoyance. He shook his head and with that little movement he saw his boyfriend and instantly his whole face broke into a large grin, all anger and annoyance washing away from him.

  “Bas!” Blaine called out his name, surprise evident in his voice. (He hadn’t told Blaine that his exam had been moved, happy to have another opportunity to surprise him.)

  “Hey, killer,” Sebastian greeted him, smirking playfully.

  Blaine made his way towards his boyfriend, smiling widely, forgetting about Kurt - who was feeling awkward and uneasy and even a little perturbed - and the argument. Sebastian took a step forward as well and the next moment Blaine had his hands around his neck, was pulling him down and kissing him, excitedly and deeply.

  “What are you doing here? It’s Tuesday.” Blaine inquired, looking up at him lovingly, their arms wrapped around each other.

  “My last exam got moved,” he replied simply.

  “You could’ve told me.”

  “Where would be the fun in that?” Sebastian teased against Blaine's lips before kissing him again.

  “So, you’re done?“

  “I’m done,” Sebastian replied, realization finally hitting him.

  “I’m so proud of you, baby,” Blaine said, before kissing him again. “It seems you were right,” Blaine whispered in his ear a few moments later, remembering that they are not alone.

  Sebastian smirked, he couldn’t help it. “I’m sorry,” he offered quietly.

  Blaine pulled away slightly, arms still around his waist, so that he could look at the taller boy. He raised an eyebrow, humor in his eyes. “Well, part of me is,” Sebastian admitted with a smile.

  “I know,” Blaine assured him.

  They turned around then, facing Kurt, Blaine tucked at Sebastian’s side.

  Kurt was eyeing them for a few moments. “I don’t understand,” he admitted. That’s all he could admit.

  “I know you don’t,” Blaine said, “And that’s okay, but if you can’t accept it, if you can’t respect it then we can’t be friends.”

  Kurt nodded. That he did understand.

 

  Later, Sebastian said to Blaine that he didn’t care what Kurt thought about him and that he had no problem if they did decide to be friends. “I know,” Blaine said. “But it’s not something minor he has a problem with. And it’s not about him not liking you, it’s about respect, for us and for me. And I can’t have a person in my life who can’t accept this big, crucial part of who I am. I mean, I can handle him questioning my wardrobe choices but not who I love.”

 

 

“What? Hold up. What do you mean ‘this time’?”

 

  Annie’s voice brings him back to the present yet again.

 

  “I - I asked my boyfriend to marry me,” Blaine explains.

  “What? Wait -  No! Please don’t tell me - Kurt?” It is clear by the way she said his name that she is not a fan and Sebastian can’t help but smile; he knew he liked her for a reason.

  “Yes,” Blaine confirms.

  “Okay, well, that’s a new information,” she says, chuckling a little, letting the information sink in before continuing. “I’m guessing it’s something you regret doing since you never told me about it and you told me a lot, I mean, I know how much you masturbated thinking about Sebastian before you - “

  “Annie!” Blaine’s scandalized voice cuts her off. Sebastian is smiling, he doesn’t need to see his boyfriend to know that he’s blushing.

  “What?” Annie asks with fake innocence.

  “Nothing,” Blaine replies, chuckling himself. “I can’t believe I told you all that.”

  “Well, we were drinking,” Annie offers. “But even if you hadn’t told me I would still know. Remember, we were roommates.”

  “God!” Blaine groans in embarrassment.

  Annie chuckles. “Okay, so now that you’re more relax can you tell me what the big deal is? You asked someone to marry you before, so what? I mean, that was like what, nine years ago. You and Sebastian are crazy about each other. You’ve been together for more than eight years now and I honestly never saw two people more in love with each other. You fit so perfectly together it’s ridiculous. So, what’s bothering you?”

  Sebastian holds his breath while he waits for Blaine to answer. He knows he shouldn't be standing here eavesdropping, but he has to know. Because even though he now knows what is holding Blaine back he still doesn’t know _why_. Why is him proposing to Kurt all those years ago an issue now? Annie is right, it was so long ago, it shouldn’t matter.

  “You’re right, it doesn't matter,” Blaine starts but before Sebastian can relax he notices that his voice is already adopting that heavy, thick quality. “Not like that. I mean, this isn’t about Kurt it’s -  it’s about - “ Blaine pauses. For some reason Sebastian can hear regret in his voice and he doesn’t understand it. If it isn't about Kurt ---

  “What?” Annie urges him gently.

  It takes a few moments for Blaine to start talking again and the moment he does it’s clear he's holding back tears. It’s in the way his voice wants to crack in two but Blaine is forcefully holding it together.

  “When I asked Kurt to marry me Sebastian was there.”

  There it is. The reason for Blaine’s regret.

  “There how?”

  “I -  Well, I basically convinced all my friends to sing, you know, to serenade to Kurt before I -- But like I said, not important. But Sebastian was one of them. We were sort of friends but I -- And then we had a fight the day before and I said some awful things --- and I was actually angry at him for saying that --- He knew, he always knew that -- And I didn’t care that he --- I didn’t --- But he came anyway and --- God, Annie, I hurt him, I hurt him so much. I didn’t mean to but I did, I --- “

  Sebastian can’t take it anymore. Everything is suddenly too much. The way Blaine’s voice is weighted with tears, how panicky and guilty he sounds and how he himself feels like he’s been kicked in the gut and thrown back in time.

  His heart feels like it’s breaking and he knows it’s just a memory but he can feel it now anyway, raw and painful.

 

  He makes his way to the office.

  He sits on the small couch, head in hands.

  “Shit,” he mutters and then throws his head against the backrest.

  He can feel the memory invading his mind.

 

  

  It hurt so much watching Blaine proposing and then Kurt saying yes.

  Not just because he was so stupidly in love with him even then but because he was so goddamn sure that Blaine deserved better, that Kurt wasn’t  good for him, that he deserved to be appreciated and respected. It was so agonizing to know that and be utterly helpless to do anything about it.

  He told Blaine what he thought, he tried to make him see how much more he’s worth but Blaine didn’t believe him, he didn’t even listen to him, dismissing whatever Sebastian said as some hidden agenda - not that he blamed him. Blaine had no reason to trust him, to trust his opinion and Sebastian was fully aware that he only had himself to blame for that. (If only he wasn’t such an asshole when they first met; if only he had the courage to admit to himself what he felt; if only he wasn’t stupid and lashed out; if only, if only, if only.)

 

  

  Sebastian forces himself away from those bad memories. They don’t matter now anyway, they really don’t.

  He takes a deep breath and concentrates on how much he loves this incredible, beautiful man, he thinks about all their years together – eight; and five months - and how happy he’s been. And he holds onto that easily because Blaine, and the love he shares with him, is the most _real_ thing in his life. It’s tangible. Undeniable. True.

  He stands up quickly and goes to the closet. It takes him only seconds to find what he’s looking for, two ring boxes. He puts them in pockets of his Princeton sweatshirt. (He didn’t bother dressing up in his usual work attire before going to the gallery; he’s on vacation already after all.)

 

  

  “... I need to show him that this is different. I want to make sure that he knows that this is more, that it’s -- _everything_. I need to show him how much I love him, how completely and --- But I don’t know how. I ---”

  Blaine’s voice is still laden with urgency, trembling a little.  

  

  Without thinking, without waiting a moment longer Sebastian walks inside the room.

  “Blaine, he already knows, I’m ---”

  “She’s right, you know,” is all Sebastian says before dropping to his knees in front of Blaine - who’s sitting in an armchair, looking stunned, unable to react - pulling him in his arms and kissing him. And he keeps kissing him and everything else starts to dissolve.

  “Okay,” Annie chuckles, “I’ll show myself out.” Sebastian can barely hear her even though she’s standing less than three feet away. “But I expect to be your first phone call tomorrow,” she calls from the hallway, clearly knowing what is going to happen after she leaves. Sebastian definitely doesn’t hear her. It’s all Blaine and him now.

 

  “I know you love me, I never doubted that, not for a moment,” he says when they break apart, still holding Blaine tight. “It took me awhile to accept it,” he adds with a smile ,“You know that. But once I did I never doubted it.” Blaine smiles as well because he understands.

 

  It was strange and odd at first, allowing himself to believe that this gorgeous boy not only chose to be with him, but was actually in love with him. It seemed too good to be true. He was actually terrified of  all of it falling apart, he feared he’ll fuck things up, or that Blaine will realize he deserves better, or decide that he simply wants someone different. But with time he learned to accept it, he learned to believe in what he felt. And Blaine was so patient, loving and there; even when there was 40 miles between them _._

 

  They stay like that for a few long moments, just looking at each other.

  Sebastian can tell that Blaine’s mind is trying to catch up but his body is relaxed against his; he can feel his hand running through his hair.

  His eyes are a little puffy, the skin under his nose is red, and a little swollen from wiping it countless times the last few days. His hair an unruly mess of curls. He looks beautiful, even like this.

 

  “How are you feeling?” Sebastian asks finally, breaking the silence and moving them so that they can both sit on a couch. “Sore throat? Headache?” he adds when he sees a momentary confusion on his boyfriend’s face.

  “Oh, that,” sa breathy laugh escapes from him. “Yeah -  No, I’m fine. No headache, no fever, no sore throat and clear sinuses.” He breathes deeply through his nose to emphasize his response and smiles.

  “Good,” Sebastian says.

  

  They are comfortable on the couch; Blaine in the corner, tucked at Sebastian’s side, head on his shoulder, legs splayed over Sebastian’s lap, their arms around each other.

  “How much have you heard?” Blaine asks quietly.

  It only takes a look from Sebastian for Blaine to get his answer.

  “Sorry,” he apologizes, “But I had to, I was--”

  “It’s okay,” Blaine assures him. “I should’ve just talked to you, but – I didn’t know how. I know it’s stupid, we talk about everything, but I wanted to make sure that --- well, you heard all of it.” He pinches him at his side, where he knows Sebastian is ticklish. The reaction is immediate.

  “Hey!” Sebastian yelps and flinches.

  Blaine laughs, burying himself even more into Sebastian’s body. “That’s what you get for ruining the surprise.”

  Sebastian laughs as well. “I did ruin a surprise, but not today.”

  “What?” Blaine straightens himself up so that he can take a better look at the taller boy. “How? When?” he demands.

  Sebastian smirks but says nothing.

  “Bas!” Blaine demands again, hitting him lightly in the stomach. “I should’ve known,” he pouts a little.”It is impossible to surprise you.”

  “That’s not true,” Sebastian insist, “You surprise me every day just by being here and not fleeing in the middle of the night.” His voice is full of playfulness.

  Blaine chuckles and shakes his head, pout gone from his lips, smile in its place. “You’re ridiculous.”

  “Yes, but I mean it,” he says and kisses the top of Blaine’s head.

  Blaine looks up. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  “So are you going to tell me how you found out or ---?”

  Sebastian smiles. “I found the ring you bought when I was hiding the one I bought for you.”

  “What?” Blaine looks up again. Definitely surprised. “You didn’t?” His voice somewhere between disbelief and delight.

  “I most certainly did,” he informs, grinning.

  Blaine shifts a little so that he can fully look at the other man; his back is now against the armrest, legs still stretched over Sebastian’s. Before he can say or ask anything else Sebastian reaches inside his pockets and pulls out two small boxes. Blaine’s eyes go impossibly wide and all he does is stare at them - midnight blue and burgundy red - like he didn’t really believe it until he was presented with the evidence.

  “Why? I mean - When?” he manages to ask.

  “May,” Sebastian replies softly, taking one of Blaine’s hands and lacing their fingers together slowly, indulgently. “And as for why,” he continues, moving Blaine’s legs and dropping to the floor, one hand holding Blaine’s, the other holding the box, a burgundy one. “Because I love you, because I’m crazy about you. Because I love you so much that I literally have trouble breathing when I think about it. Because it’s incredible and improbable and real. And because there’s not one reason why I don’t want to marry you. I don’t need some big speech, B. because I know you love me. I know what we have is real and special. I know it because of the way you let me be myself - but you still call me out if I step too far into an ashole-land. Because of the way you look at me, the way you touch me and kiss me. I know it because you let me list all scientific inaccuracies and improbabilities when we’re watching movies --- well, until you tell me to shut up and just watch.” Blaine laughs. “I know it when we disagree about small things, like your stubborn preference for pancakes instead of crêpes, or how you buy 1% milk -- I mean seriously, killer, it’s like flavored water.” Blaine laughs again, there are tears in his eyes now. “I know you love me because whenever you’re tired and you had a bad day, or a bad week and you don’t even feel like talking you always let me hold you when we go to bed. And when I bring you to me I can feel your body instantly relaxing and melting into mine.”

  “Baby ---” Blaine sighs, holding his lips together to prevent them from trembling, tears escaping down his cheeks.

  Sebastian shakes his head slightly and wipes his cheeks.

  “I could go on forever listing reasons why I love you and why I know you love me but I actually have a better idea.” He straightens himself a little, small smile playing on his lips and already threatening to break out across his whole face. “So, Blaine sex-on-a-stick-sings-like-a-dream Anderson what do you say about spending forever with me?”

  Before Sebastian even finishes the question Blaine is already grinning like an idiot, eyes shining with tears. He wipes them quickly with a back of his hand, and closes his eyes for a moment, holding his upper lip across his lover in an attempt to get his smile under control, at least so that he can form an answer.

  “I say that’s an excellent idea.”

  “Yeah?” Sebastian asks, a little softer.

  “Most definitely,” Blaine answers while Sebastian slips a ring on his finger.

  And then they’re kissing and smiling, their faces stretched impossibly wide.

  Blaine pulls Sebastian up on the couch and straddles him before they're kissing again and laughing and chuckling and giggling.

  

  “Why didn’t you ask me sooner?” Blaine inquiries when their euphoria subsides a little, and they take a moment to catch their breath.

  “I wanted to leave you the honor,” he smirks, but then adds. “I was sure you were going to do it after the tour, it was --”

  “Yeah, I was, but then I started to think ---” Blaine explains.

  “Overthink, you mean.” Sebastian corrects, cutting him off.

  “Yeah, but I wanted to ---” He sighs deeply.

  “I know, it’s okay, really. I just…”

  “What?” Blaine nudges softly.

  “Nothing. I just started to worry a little. I knew something was holding you back but I couldn’t figure out what, especially since everything between us seemed fine. That’s why I listened earlier, I ---”

  “I’m sorry,” Blaine says while wrapping his arms tighter around the other man.

 

  

 

 

  Blaine knew he had hurt Sebastian that day, proposing to Kurt. He saw his face the moment after the big yes and he never saw anyone look so broken, so wrecked. But just because he saw it that didn’t mean he _saw_ it.

  The realization came gradually until it overwhelmed him and erupted.

  The day those 131 boxes arrived he broke down completely. Over his loneliness, over that stuck-in-limbo relationship that he and Kurt had put themselves in, over his inability to forgive himself, over Kurt’s unwillingness to even try, over his realization that he kept pushing Sebastian away and keeping him at the distance for months even though it was evident that the boy was trying his best to redeem himself, to be a good friend, over his blindness that didn’t let him see that he actually was a good friend, over being a hypocrite, over everything.

 

  It was at the party that Jeff and Santana threw, few weeks before the end of second semester his freshman year that he found out just how much he had hurt Sebastian.

 

  It was a good party, and even though he knew very little people he was having fun. (He was also still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Jeff and Santana were not just roommates but friends. Best friends, from the way they were acting.)

  He was taking a breather in a hallway when he heard Jeff and Santana talking in the kitchen.

  “Have you heard from my partner in crime?” Santana asked.

  “No,” Jeff answered. “Besides, aren’t I your partner in crime?” He added jokingly.

  “No, you’re too sweet for that,” Santana said teasingly. “Sebastian’s my guy for mischief and trouble.”

  Until that point, Blaine wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation happening a few feet away. But when he heard “Sebastian” his interest was instantly picked.He stood a little taller, actually holding his breath for a moment like he’s anticipating something. He shook his head then, mentally hitting himself over the head. He knew he should probably walk away, eavesdropping wasn’t polite after all, but he just couldn’t will his body to move.

  His brain quickly went over what he heard. He knew Sebastian and Santana were on speaking terms but he was surprised by affectionate playfulness in her voice.

  “Did you even invite him?” Santana asked, a hint of accusation unmistakable.

  “Of course I did,” Jeff replied, slightly offended. “He said he couldn’t make it.”

  “Did you ask why?” she demanded.

  “No. And besides, maybe it was a good thing.”

  “Oh god, Jeffrey!” Santana exclaimed little annoyed. “Blaine’s a big boy, he can take care of himself.”Blaine kept standing outside in the hallway, confused. His heart was beating wildly behind his ribcage.“And Sebastian’s not that bad. He’s like me, you know that, hard on the outside… little less hard on the inside,” Santana continued and finished with a laugh. Jeff laughed as well.

  Blaine smiled.

  “I know that, he was my roommate for a year.”

  What, Blaine thought. He had no idea they had been rooming together.

  “Okay, so what’s eating you then? Spill,” she demanded.

  “It’s nothing,” he tried, but Santana wasn’t letting him drop it.

  “It’s obviously something. I was just playing at first but now I know there’s something. You’re being all overprotective and it’s nice but a bit much. And you know they’re talking all the time, right, so if Blaine wants to --”

  “It’s not about Blaine,” he interrupted her sharply.

  “Okay, I’m lost now.”

  Blaine heard Jeff sigh, then inhaling deeply. His head was dizzy with confusion.

  “I’m worried about Seb,” Jeff said finally.

  “What?”

  “Blaine’s an amazing guy, probably the best guy I know, but Seb’s my friend too.”

  “Yeah, but I still don’t see the problem.”

  “You didn’t saw him last year, okay? And then after that day when Blaine asked Kurt to marry him he was…” Jeff stopped talking.

  Blaine started to feel sick.

  “What happened?” Santana asked with an uncharacteristically gentle voice.

  Jeff stayed silent for a few moments.

  “He was crying when I got back to the room. I know it’s not that dramatic, but it completely threw me. I mean I knew-- But I don’t think it was just that, I think he saw how lost Blaine was and the fact that he wasn’t able to do anything about it was just...I don’t know, too much or something. I think he cried the entire night. I had no idea what to do. I knew that if I tried talking to him he’d bite my head off so I just held him. I mean, the fact that he even allowed me to do that-- And it’s not like he was the first person, or a first guy that I ever saw crying but it just…I don’t know, broke my heart a little or something. And for the rest of the year he was just…quite. It was so fucking unnerving and weird having classes and practice without his snarky, sarcastic comments and jokes. By the end of the week everyone was complaining, even Trent, I mean-- He left the moment his final exam was done. He missed graduation. So, I just-- Yeah.”

  “Shit.” That’s all Santana said when it was clear that Jeff was done talking.  

   Shit indeed, Blaine thought, body shaking slightly.

 

  It was that imagine that Jeff’s words created - Sebastian's long and strong body curled on a too-small Dalton bed, shaking, crying inconsolably while Jeff is holding him - that etched itself inside his brain.

  He felt like an asshole.

  It would've been so easy then to slip back into that unhealthy cycle of guilt and regret but he didn’t. He had come too far. (With a big help from Sebastian actually; he’ll always swear those 131 boxes saved his life.) And he knew where blaming yourself and not forgiving leads to.

  And besides, his life was full of incredible, wonderful, ridiculous, outlandish evidences, tangible proofs that told him that Sebastian didn’t blame him for anything.

 

  (Blaine never told Sebastian what he heard that day at the party, it’s probably the only secret he’s still holding.)

 

  

  “Hey, baby,” Sebastian’s voice calls him back from his memories. “You with me?” he asks softly, one hand making gentle circles across his back. It feels lovely. Perfect, really. Just that one little thing. Incredible.

  Blaine nods against Sebastian’s neck but when he pulls away to look at him he instantly knows where Blaine went.

  “No, don’t even --- “ but Blaine cuts him off.

  He doesn’t want to ruin this moment but he needs to say it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you,” his voice cracks at the end, he’s trying very hard not to cry. They’ve been together for a long time and it was never an issue between them and they will probably never talk about it again after today, but now, now he just needs him to know.

  “You shouldn’t feel sorry, it -”

  Blaine kisses him softly.

  “I know you don’t blame me but I know I hurt you and I’m sorry.”

  “You didn’t hurt me,” Sebastian insists, “It was the situation. And yes, it sucked, but it’s okay. You know I’m all about experiences and what’s a life without a broken heart? And besides,” he continues, with that familiar glint in his eyes, “Everything turned out wonderfully. I have this gorgeous, incredible, amazing, brilliant guy sitting in my lap and he just agreed to marry me, so I say things are quite fantastic. What do you say, killer?”

  Blaine doesn’t answer him but kisses him instead. Deeply and passionately.

  It’s amazing how kissing Sebastian still feels like the first time: pieces falling into place; coming home; taking an elixir of life; floating and being grounded at the same time; being in here and now; being alive; being peaceful and excited. It’s majestic and blissful.

 

  And utterly addictive.

 

  “Oh god, I love you so much,” Blaine all but moans the declaration.

  Sebastian smiles against his neck.

  They’re holding each other impossibly tight; chest against chest, faces buried in each other's necks, their half-hard cocks pressed tightly together. They’re both breathing heavily.

  Blaine slides just a little bit down Sebastian’s legs causing Sebastian to whine softly, even though what he wants to do is move further into the other man’s body, keep grinding his hips, making them both moan, keep losing themselves into each other.

  But there will be plenty of time for that later. He releases his hold just enough so that he can look at Sebastian.

  He is so gorgeous, just the sight of him is enough to make Blaine’s breath hitch. But it is the way he looks at him, like he really is all those things he accuses him of being - amazing, beautiful, brilliant - that Blaine will never get used to. It makes him feel special. (“But you are special,” Sebastian always tells him whenever Blaine explains how he makes him feel. And Blaine just blushes and kisses him.)

 

  “I love you so much Sebastian.” He knows it might seem pointless, may as well be redundant, but he wants to do it.“You make me so happy, baby. And I love you. Completely, utterly, irrevocably, enduringly, permanently, unshakably, inexorably, unequiv---”

  “What are you, Merriam-Webster?” Sebastian teases, he can’t help it. He tries his best to hold the laughter that’s bubbling inside his chest but fails.

  “Shut up!” Blaine demands, hitting him lightly in the chest but he’s laughing as well. He knew it was coming, he saw Sebastian’s face change from one of delight and adoration to one of mischief.

  “No, no, Mrs. Ridge would’ve been proud.”

  “Well I can’t help it that the word hasn’t been invented yet that would adequately describe how I feel about you.”

  “God, you’re so cheesy,” Sebastian says with affection. “But I know what you mean.”

  Blaine kisses him for that and then just because, and then he gets back. “I’m cheesy? Have you heard yourself when -” He is cut off with a kiss.

  “If I am cheesy,” Sebastian allows “It’s because you’d rubbed off on me. The same way you’ve become quite naughty.”

  “I don’t think that’s correct, babe,” Blaine teases. “I was never as innocent as people thought, you know that,” he winks and kisses him. “And you were always a big softy, you just - “

  “There’s nothing soft about me,” Sebastian protests, but Blaine can feel his smile against his lips. “In fact -- “ he pauses, grabs Blaine’s ass with both hands and slides him up until they’re flushed again, both moaning in pleasure. He smirks, “Nothing soft here.”

  Blaine laughs. “You’re incorrigible.”

  “Yes, but you love me just the way I am.”

  Blaine shakes his head. “Yes I do,” he admits happily. “And I was trying to explain to you how much before you --”Sebastian cuts him off with a kiss.“—interrupted me,” Blaine finishes his thought after the kiss breaks.

  “Blaine, “ Sebastian calls him, voice soft, intimate. “Just ask me.”

  Blaine grins and leans to his right so that he can reach that second box.He thinks of dropping on his knee but even that seems like being too far away from Sebastian so he stays where he is.He takes a deep breath, heart pounding in his chest.

  “Sebastian Smythe, will you marry me?” he asks, finally.

  “You can bet your cute butt I will.”

  Blaine slides a ring on Sebastian’s finger, both men grinning and then they’re kissing again. And laughing and kissing and smiling and kissing and kissing and giggling until they’re both breathless.

 

  Blaine slides off Sebastian’s body, but stays tucked at his side, legs still resting against his fiancé’s lap. They stay like that, quiet, enjoying the moment.

 

  The room is colored by Christmas lights - wrapped around their floor-to-ceiling Christmas tree, framing the windows - pulsing gently in the red and green and yellow and blue. _It’s a Wonderful Life_ is playing black-and-white on the TV - muted - and the Christmas music is coming from the speakers in a low volume.

 

  They’re holding each other, fingers intertwined, glancing at the rings; simple, silver bands, perfect since neither of them wear any jewelry.

 

  Blaine brings Sebastian’s hand to his lips. “Thank you.”

  “Thank _you._ ”

  Nothing more needs to be said. They both understand.

 

  Thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for giving me a second one. Thank you for loving me and appreciating me and respecting me. Thank you for being you. Thank you for letting me be me. Thank you for knowing me. Thank you for seeing me and hearing me. Thank you for tiny moments and small moments. Thank you for huge ones and gigantic ones. And all the moments in between. Thank you for being _here_.

 

  “It’s only the beginning,” Sebastian leans his head forward and whispers.

  Blaine smiles at those words spoken in the here and the now, and he smiles at the memory too; it was him who said it to Sebastian when they started dating. He said it then because he could feel how nervous Sebastian was. It was in the way he was holding him so tightly on the night of their two month anniversary, after they had sex for the first time. It was like he didn’t believe it was actually happening, _them,_ like it was a dream and he was afraid it will all disappear.

 

  “I was right,” Sebastian informs him quietly, after a few minutes.

  “Hmm?”

  “It’s snowing. I knew it would.”

  Blaine turns his upper body so that he can look out the window. He grins and then turns back to look at Sebastian.

  “Oh, really?” he asks teasingly. “You've become quite the expert:”

  “What can I say, I had an amazing teacher,” Sebastian says grinning.

  “Oh yeah?” he inquires playfully.

  “Aha. And he brought magic in my life.”

  Blaine kisses him and then chuckles against his lips, “If you ever accuse _me_ of being cheesy I’ll ---”

  “You’ll what?”

  Blaine chuckles again and shakes his head, “Nothing.”

  “That’s what I thought,” he says before kissing Blaine again.

  “I love it when  you’re cheesy,” Blaine assures him even though he knows he doesn’t have to.

  “I know. And I’m only ever that way with you.”

  “I know, that’s why I love it even more,” he concludes and then they’re kissing. Slow, lazy, smiling kisses.“We’re going out tomorrow, right?” Blaine asks.

  “Of course,” and he chuckles at the expression on his face. “Aren’t you glad I kept you inside the last three days?” he teases.

  Blaine only tickles him.

 

  They will go out tomorrow, and by the time they venture outside, just as all the streetlights begin to flicker to life, the city will be under a white spell. It will continue to snow during the night, long into the next day.

  It’s always an amazing sight to see how something so light and pure has the ability to put this giant of the city to sleep. The streets will be a lot emptier than usual; the only people outside will be snow fanatics, very-last-minute-shoppers, excited children and less-excited looking parents.

  Blaine and Sebastian will go skating, they’ll drink hot chocolate and just walk the streets, slowly, wrapped up in each other for warmth and just because. Blaine will coax Sebastian into making snow angels in the park. They’ll even witness a group of Santa Clauses fighting in front of one of the stores. Actually fighting, five big man dressed in red suits going at each other. Sebastian will keep laughing all the way back to their apartment.

 

  Sebastian feels one of Blaine’s hands on his thigh, stroking slowly but with obvious purpose. He turns his head a little and cocks an eyebrow. “Want something?”

  Blaine looks up at him, smiling sweetly but the look in his eyes is all but innocent.

  “I want to celebrate,” he says and moves his hand a little higher up.

  “You think you’re up for that, killer?” Sebastian teases.

  Blaine moves quickly, straddling his fiancé again and kissing him, hard and deep and just a little messy.

  “Oh, I’m definitely up for that,” he replies, quite the cocky grin on his face. “How about you?” he asks, voice much lower now, rubbing his palm against Sebastian’s crotch, slow. He can feel him getting harder under his touch and it makes him dizzy with want. The man beneath him moans softly and the sound goes straight to his own hardening cock. “Are you _up_ for that?” he asks, emphasizing the word by rubbing a little harder. Sebastian moans again, and his hips jerk up. He bits on his lower lip and Blaine just keeps looking at him, heat pooling in his belly at the sight before him.

  “I’m getting there, “ Sebastian manages to say, his voice thick with want.

  Blaine removes his hand and Sebastian’s whines are swallowed by the kiss. It’s a little frenzied but quickly turns more controlled.

  “How about you go to the bedroom and I’ll go get the champagne,” Sebastian says against Blaine’s lips. He nods, but neither is in a hurry to move. They keep holding each other, catching their breaths. Sebastian feels Blaine smile against his neck. “What?”

  “I’m just glad you insisted that we always have at least one bottle at home.”

  He chuckles. “Well of course, there’s always something worth celebrating, it’s good to be prepared.”

  Blaine kisses him quickly and slides of his lap and shoots him a wink. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

 

  Sebastian is making his way to the dining room convinced that he is the luckiest man on the planet. And probably beyond. There’s no doubt about it, it’s a fact. The luckiest guy in the world.

 

  “I look a mess,” Blaine laughs, standing in front of the mirror, when Sebastian walks in. The room is basking in the soft light of the candles and white Christmas lights.

 

  Blaine takes in his appearance and he just has to laugh. His hair is wild mess, his nose is red and he’s wearing his oldest, the most comfortable sweats and Sebastian’s old Dalton hoodie; he’s had that hoodie since before they got together.

 

 

 

  It was his senior year in high school and Blaine had just found out about Kurt and Adam. He was holding himself together all day until he just couldn’t anymore. He broke down completely in the parking lot of Lima Bean, after having coffee with Sebastian, the taller boy holding him tight.    

  And he kept holding him until Blaine didn’t have any more tears to cry; Sebastian’s dress shirt was completely drenched.

  He didn’t want to go home or anywhere familiar so the Warbler drove him to his house.

  He made him a cocoa with whipped cream. He said nothing except that he deserves better - words that Blaine didn’t hear, words that he wasn’t ready to hear then - and just held him. He held him during the Disney marathon and during the entire night.

  Blaine didn’t think then about how easy it was, how comfortable he felt with Sebastian. He didn't consider how unusual it was that he had a Disney collection as big as his own. He wasn’t thinking about what it meant that he allowed himself to crumble in front of him and how safe he felt with his long arms around him.

  The next day when he drove him home Blaine was wearing the hoodie Sebastian had borrowed him to sleep in. He never asked for it back and Blaine never returned it.

  Nothing changed between them; they had coffee, they talked sometimes on the phone; Blaine allowed himself to hang out with him only with other Warblers present; Sebastian took what he could get.

   They didn’t talk about that day, or about the fact that Blaine slept in Sebastian's bed, the tall boy wrapped around him; not for some time.

  Blaine kept sleeping in the hoodie sometimes. He brought it with him to New York. Without thinking about it he just packed it with the rest of his clothes. He didn’t allow himself to even ask why.

 

  

  Sebastian stands behind him, wraps his one arm around his waist while the other is holding the champagne bottle.

  “You look gorgeous, “ he says softly against his ear, his breath warm and a little ticklish.

  Blaine laughs, he has to. “Liar.”

  “I’m not,” Sebastian protest, nuzzling his neck. “You’re always beautiful, the degrees just vary.”

  Blaine chuckles. “You’re ridiculous.” His body melts against the tall one behind him. He tilts his head to the side on instinct. Everything seems a little hazy now.

  “Perhaps, “ Sebastian allows, “But I’m also right.”

 

  Blaine has spent so much time in the past months trying to come up with a perfect way to propose to Sebastian, to show him how much he means to him, and all the reasons why he is sure that this is forever, that he was sure for a long time.

  And now they are engaged and it turned out wonderfully, and utterly perfect in a way that only spontaneous moments can be. Breathtakingly honest; remarkably true; beautifully real.   

 

  Blaine’s eyes close. He feels Sebastian’s lips against his skin and shivers a little, goose bumps forming on his arms. Sebastian sneaks his hand under the hoodie, his fingers dancing gently across his abdomen. “Mmmm. This feels good,” Blaine breathes out, dreamy smile on his lips.

  “Mmmhmm,” Sebastian agrees.

 

  Blaine opens his eyes and looks in the mirror again. At the picture of the two of them.

 

  Understanding the past is easy when you’re living the future. Things you were unable to see then seem obvious now.

  Blaine thinks about the first time he saw Sebastian. Leaning against the heavy wooden door frame, he felt him before he saw him. He can recall so easily how he felt at that exact moment when their eyes met; something went right through him, invisible and heavy. He would never dream of saying it was love, but it was _something._ A beginning; a promise of adventure and unimaginable happiness; a seed of love.

  It was inevitable, that’s what Blaine is thinking when he considers the then and the now. They were inevitable.

  It’s an unfair way of thinking, judging the past from the present, but when he thinks about that day in Autumn - November, 8th - eleven years ago and then looks at their reflection in the mirror he knows it was just meant to be. They are meant to be.

 

  “What are you thinking about?” Sebastian asks quietly, his chin on Blaine’s shoulder. Their eyes meet in the mirror. He smiles.

  Blaine smiles back and stretches his left hand, running his fingers through Sebastian’s hair.

  “Just how right this is,” he answers softly.

  Sebastian smiles again and Blaine knows he feels the same.

  “Now,” Sebastian starts, soft smile turning into more playful one, “Would my _fiancé_ like some champagne?”

  Grin breaks across his face at the word, _fiancé,_ and that’s all the answer Sebastian needs.

 

  The bottle pops open; _Dom Pérignon, vintage, 2003 -_ “Only the best for us,” Sebastian always says.

 

  They drink the champagne straight from the bottle - the giddiness made Sebastian forget where they even keep the glasses; but it doesn’t matter anyway, they always drink from the bottle when they’re alone and celebrating.

  Their tongues tingle from the liquid and they keep kissing and giggling and smiling, blissfully happy.

 

  Soon, however, the half-empty bottle will be forgotten on the nightstand.

 

  They will enjoy and celebrate each other all night while the city outside is getting covered up in white blanket of snow.

  They will kiss and touch and fuck and kiss and make love. They’ll keep setting each other aflame, ravishing and seducing. They will marvel and indulge, entice and tease.

  The room will be filled with sounds of pleasure; moans of need and want, groans and grunts; they’ll cry in ecstasy and scream in rapture.

  They will come undone over and over and over again.

  The night will be heavenly. Glorious, just like they are.

 

  In the early hours of the morning they will leave their bed - their messy, blanketless, sheetless bed - and they’ll make a new one out of blankets and duvets in the living room, under the Christmas tree.

  They’ll cuddle and hold each other; there’ll be gentle touches, kisses and chuckles. They’ll talk and just _be._

 

  When they wake up, after midday, they will be sore and giddy and perfectly content.

  
  The first day of the rest of their lives.

 

**\---  the end ---**

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope it was readable and that you enjoyed it.  
> If you’re interested, there will be a prequel, so if you want to know how Blaine and Sebastian got together, what happened between Blaine and Kurt, how Jeff and Santana became best buds or what’s up with those 131 boxes that saved Blaine’s life – tune in.


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